Grief and Loss

Grief is a natural response to loss. It’s the emotional suffering you feel when something or someone you love is taken away. Often, the pain of loss can feel overwhelming. You may experience all kinds of difficult and unexpected emotions, from shock or anger to disbelief, guilt, and profound sadness.

Coping with the loss of someone or something you love is one of life’s biggest challenges. You may associate grieving with the death of a loved one or pet... which more often than not, is the cause of the most intense type of grief—but any loss can also cause grief...losses such as the breakdown of a relationship or friendship, losing your job or financial stability, retirement...even current events can evoke feelings of grief and loss - take the recent bushfires for example. The fires had such a profound effect on so many people...even if you weren't in an area directly affected by the fires - the sense of loss was so devastating and overwhelming.

Whatever the circumstances, when you’re grieving, it’s important to take care of yourself. The stress of experiencing a major loss can quickly use up your energy and emotional reserves. Looking after your physical and emotional needs will help you get through any difficult time you may currently be experiencing.

Navigating your way through any loss can be hard, and with this in mind, here are a few tips on ways to help you work through your current situation;

Face your feelings.
You can try to suppress your grief, but you can’t avoid it forever. In order to heal, you have to acknowledge the pain. Trying to avoid feelings of sadness and loss only prolongs the grieving process. Unresolved grief can also lead to complications such as depression, anxiety, substance abuse, and health problems.

Express your feelings in a tangible or creative way.
Write about your loss in a journal. If you’ve lost a loved one, write a letter saying the things you never got to say; make a photo album with all your favourite photos of your loved one, or maybe get involved in a charity organisation or 'cause' that was important to your loved one. If speaking about your feelings is something that you may not be comfortable with, or even find exhausting, why not look at alternative solutions – art therapy for instance? Art Therapy can be such a unique and valuable way to release your feelings (even the ones you may have suppressed - what you may not be able to articulate in words, you can create through images, movement, colour and sound.

Try to maintain your hobbies and interests.
There’s comfort in routine and getting back to the activities that brought you joy and to reconnect with those around you. Don’t let anyone tell you how to feel, and more importantly, don't tell YOURSELF, how you SHOULD be feeling. Grief is different for everyone, and your grief is your own, and there is no time limit – don't listen when people tell you it’s time to “move on” or to “get over it”..... allow yourself to feel whatever you feel, without embarrassment or judgement. It’s okay to be angry, to yell at the sky above you, to cry or not to cry. It’s also okay to laugh, to find moments of joy.....and to let go when you’re ready.

Look after your physical health.
The mind and body are connected – if you feel physically healthy, you are assisting your mind in a way to perhaps cope emotionally. Look at ways to fight off stress and fatigue; things like getting enough sleep, eating right, and even exercise – yoga, boxing...whatever works for you. I know it's easier said than done, but if you're at least eating and sleeping, you are setting yourself up for fighting chance when coming to deal with your grief. Try to avoid ways of “numbing” your pain (drugs or alcohol), this could prologue or perhaps hinder your grieving process.

Ultimately, if and when you're ready to, don't be afraid to ask for help – there are plenty of services out there that you can access....even anonymously if you prefer.

headspace offers an online or telephone counselling service 24/7 for people aged between 12-25
www.headspace.org.au/eheadspace

Lifeline offer different methods of service – phone, text or online services are available.
Telephone - 13 11 14

Online chat (7pm to midnight), 7 days a week
www.lifeline.org.au/Get-Help/Online-Services/crisis-chat

Text – 0477 13 11 14 (6pm to midnight), 7 days a week
www.lifeline.org.au/projects/lifeline-text

Salvation Army offers phone counselling 24/7
Telephone – 1300 363 622

MensLine Australia offers 24/7 counselling and resources for men in crisis
Telephone – 1300 789 978

Remember, everyone's grief is different and unique to them...take as much time as you need and look after yourself.

We also want to take this opportunity it touch on the recent COVID-19 pandemic. Our way of life has changed dramatically over the last few weeks, and it’s safe to say, it will continue to change as our Government responds to the evolving outbreak.

Our new way of life consists of restrictions and isolation and whilst it’s for our own safety, we can’t help but be filled with confusion and uncertainty…which can trigger people’s anxiety levels and possibly some of you may even been experiencing varying degrees of grief. It’s 100% okay to be grieving our old lifestyles right now - it’s a lot to take in and process. If you if do need to talk to someone, and have a mental health care plan or referral, you can contact Mel on 02 6013 9211 to book either a face time or zoom counselling session. Click here to find out more. Remember, stay safe, stay home and wash your hands